


I can't make you love me, but I try.

by CelebrateTheFreedom



Series: Writing Prompts Challenge [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 15:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16683895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelebrateTheFreedom/pseuds/CelebrateTheFreedom
Summary: The first time he dreams of Ned he wakes up startled. He tries to not think about it at all.They are friends.Just Friends.





	I can't make you love me, but I try.

**Author's Note:**

> This pairing warms my heart. I wrote it at 3 a.m., though, so beware.  
> Any mistakes are my own and I don't own any of these characters.  
> The title is from the song “Make you love me” by Troye Sivan

The first time he dreams of Ned he wakes up startled. He tries to not think about it at all. They are friends. Just Friends. But thinking like that doesn’t help at all. Every time he sees a couple on the streets he longs, every time he makes Ned laugh he longs. He longs for more than he can have. It’s not right to be friends with someone and want something more, hope for something more. It’s weird hiding something so important from his best friend, but he tries to keep acting normal. Then Spider-Man happens, and suddenly he becomes the person who keeps things - important things - from his very best friend; the one person who knows, well, knew everything about him. He sneaks around, he avoids meeting up, he lies. It makes him want to cry when he lays his head on the pillow night after night.

He feels like he can’t tell anybody. The dreams don’t stop, they are cheesy, they are everything Peter ever wanted, a romance like Aunt May and Uncle Ben’s, Princess Leia and Han Solo, Gomez and Morticia Addams. Or not. All of these were straight couples. Peter felt so far away from straight that he might as well be in another galaxy. But it doesn’t stop him from wanting, longing. It didn’t take long for Ned to catch up— “Did I do something wrong?” He asked, and Peter might’ve screamed if he didn’t know for sure that it would hurt Ned’s feelings.

“No, no, no, Ned, it’s just- There’s too much going on. Sorry for being a shit friend.” Peter felt defeated.

“Aw, man, if there’s anything I can do… Tell me, ok? How about we marathon Star Wars and have a sleepover”

Later that night while they were busy putting another movie to play Ned murmured “FYI, you’re not a shit friend. You’re awesome, Pete.” Smiling softly at him, he hugged the smaller boy. As Peter put his arms around his best friend and squeezed, he just knew things would, somehow, be okay.

-

The first time he gets hurt because of his being Spider-man he fears. He fears for people in his life. Aunt May, Ned, even his colleagues and neighbors, they’d be the ones dealing with the consequences of him not being there anymore. He decides that he needs to be more careful, and he swears not to tell anybody his secret. This superhero life is just too dangerous, he couldn't bear the thought of losing one of them because of a bad call, a bad guy trying to get to him. He now knew that the bad guys weren’t like the ones he’s seen in movies, they wouldn’t hesitate to hurt people he loved if they even imagined it would make him cooperate. He thinks of pushing everyone away, but even the thought hurts, hasn’t he lost enough? He couldn’t bring himself to cut ties with them.

He gets extra careful with his secret identity, then Tony Stark is at his doorstep. He knows. It freaks Peter out, it was too easy for Tony to find him. Then he’s in Germany fighting Captain America, not even knowing the whole story behind the fight he’s now a part of. He’s fighting all these superheroes and he doesn’t have time to overthink his feelings and continue on his existential crisis.

-

The first time Ned sees him in the new Spider-man suit he wants to punch himself in the face. How could he have been so dumb? The thing is: he felt so at ease around Ned that his spidey sense didn’t warn him of someone else being in the room. And there he stood half naked trying to bullshit his way into lying to the guy that knew him best in this whole world.

Peter didn’t have any other choice then tell him the truth. Show him the vlogs he did in Germany. Ned thought he was so cool and he couldn't help but bask in the attention the boy was giving him. He, once again, felt like he was taking advantage of his friendship with Ned because he wanted more. He wishes he could hold his hand, kiss his lips and tell him everything he felt. If he did any of these things he just knew their friendship would be over. He couldn’t risk it.

That’s why he blushed when Ned complimented him, he played it cool, talking endlessly about other girls, despite not having any real interest in them, not after realizing he liked Ned. It was nerve-wracking having what you truly wanted right by your side and never being able to reach out and touch.

-

The first time he realized Aunt May knew he was paralyzed. He was the worst liar to ever exist if the two things he had as a secret were out in the open. He was bashful and tried to play it out as something May had imagined. She didn’t budge. She was right, though. And it was relieving talking to someone about it.

“You love him.” She had said.

“Who?” Peter was genuinely confused at first.

“Ned.”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s my best friend.” He tried to play it off and he wished for it to work so badly.

“That's not what I mean and you know it, but I’ll drop the subject if you’re not ready to talk to me about it yet.” She sounded so calm and comforting Peter might as well take it off his chest.

“Okay, yes, I do. And I don’t know what to do Aunt May.” The unshed tears in his eyes giving away his feeling of hopelessness.

“Come here, honey.” She said as she sat on the couch. She hugged him so tight when he sat by her. It was like a dam had been opened, he cried for what he couldn't have, for not being able to tell her about Spider-Man, too. It hurt bottling up everything he had felt for so long, so he just let himself be comforted by her, his understanding and hard-working aunt. He would do literally anything for her.

And that’s how he told her how he realized his feelings, how he started paying attention to every little detail in Ned. If he closed his eyes he could clearly see his smile, his eyes, the way they crinkled when they were talking about something he was truly passionate about, how he talked with his hands when he was excited. God, he was so in love it was disgusting, so sweet he could roll around in sugar and it wouldn’t match his feelings.

-

The first time he asked for advice was awkward. It had been a good year since Germany, he met Shuri in the meantime. He fast became best friends with her and it drove Ned insane. He was snappy and sometimes he would ignore Peter when he mentioned his new friend at all. He skyped her for advice, however, who ended up answering the call was Bucky, The Winter Soldier himself (later he said he didn’t go by this name anymore and that it was a little offensive, Peter apologized.). Their conversation went a little like “Hey Shur- oh, you’re not Shuri.” Peter stammered.

“No, I’m not. I’m Bucky.” The man said nodding.

“Hey Bucky, not to be weird or anything but I need an unbiased opinion, do you have a minute?” Peter felt so nervous, he must have sounded so uncertain.

“Sure, shoot.”

“Ok, so what would you do if you started having feelings for your male best friend from forever and you’re not sure if he feels something for you, but then you’ve never been really aware of flirting and stuff, but oh god, you would make such a cute couple together, if only I was sure that he’s not straight and might hate me forever if I tried kissing him, I also don’t wanna spring it on him and everything might get so awkward, anyway, yes, opinion.” Peter knew he had started rambling a bit, yeah, nothing major, no. Bucky had a very serious look on his face, Peter’s face burned with embarrassment. Maybe he had offended the man some way? Maybe he was a bigot, he really was a hundred years old.

“Is this a prank? Shuri told you to do this, didn’t she? Guess what little girl, me and Steve have sorted our shit out.” Suddenly Captain America appeared on the screen raising his brows, nodding his head to what Bucky was saying.

“I mean, no, she didn’t even know I was calling today, but congratulations, I guess?” Peter smiled embarrassedly. The men looked at each other, seemingly having a silent conversation.

“In this case, we do have some advice for you.”

That’s how Peter got to know the story of those two legendary men, he may have wept quietly here and there but if anyone asked he would deny it till the day he died. And then he finally made a decision of telling Ned how he felt.

-

The first time he admitted his feelings to Ned he was quiet for a long time. It was weeks after the story with Steve and Bucky. He had to take some time to think how he would tell Ned and to be completely honest, he needed time to gather enough courage to do it, too.

Ned was quiet for so long that Peter’s hands started to sweat and tremble a bit, he started regretting ever trying to come clean to Ned. He started doubting himself and overthinking everything. After a long time, Ned said: “It's not funny, Peter.” And Peter didn’t know what to do with himself, he had never seen Ned that serious, well, maybe once in Uncle Ben’s funeral, but never like this. Peter didn’t know how to answer. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, never emitting a sound. Ned talked again. “I didn’t know you liked boys.” There wasn’t a mean tone to his voice and, for that, Peter was grateful. “I do” was all Peter could muster.

More silence. Ned got up to leave. Peter tried to stop him but didn’t really know what to say. He watched Ned go, closing the door after himself. Peter cried, at first small drops falling from his eyes, they evolved into a hurt sob, Peter locked himself in his room. Allowing himself to wallow in his misery.

All he heard from Ned was radio silence the rest for the week. They didn’t have lunch at the cafeteria together anymore, didn’t meet at the lockers, didn’t see each other after school. He called Steve and Bucky, they tried to soothe him, it worked a little. At least he knew now. He told May, she was pissed, he had never seen her like this. It didn’t help much, but it was nice being around people who cared about his well being. He even told Tony. He was surprisingly helpful, making Peter feel better for once that week.

It sucked.

-

The first time Peter cried in front of Ned because of this was ugly. He went to Ned’s house to confront him, he wanted to, no, he needed to know where they stood. He wanted his friend back, he wanted to work things out, it didn’t have to be this awkward. He could handle being rejected, but what he couldn't bear was not having Ned in his life anymore.

As Ned opened his door he seemed startled as if he never imagined that Peter would go to his house. Peter stood there wearing his heart on his sleeve once again. “I think we need to talk.” Peter was trying so hard to be the strong and resolute.

“Come in.” Ned opened the door and let Peter in. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What I-“ Peter almost snorted. “I want to talk about us.”

“Us.” Ned paused. “What about it?”

Peter couldn’t understand why Ned was treating his like that.

“Ned, you’re being a jerk. Are we still friends?”

“Is this another joke for you?” Ned sneered. “You’re impossible, Peter.” His voice raising.

“What's with you and jokes? None of it is a joke for me.”

“Oh really? Then why would you make fun of my feelings like that.”

“Don’t try to twist it, you little shit, you were the one stomping all over me for over a week now.” At this point, both of them were screaming from the top on their lungs. They heard a knock on the door. Ned answered, it was a neighbor telling them to shut it, otherwise there would be a noise complaint put down on them. Ned breathed deeply. Peter’s hands were shaking and he was about to cry.

“Happy now? Coming all this way to disturb not only me but everyone else?” Ned’s words cut him like a knife, he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. Peter was crying, sobbing like a baby, “why are you doing this to me?” He said between hiccups.

Only then Ned realized what he had done, how he understood everything wrong. He made Peter this upset, he didn’t know if he would ever be able to forgive himself. He went to the other boy, held him close. Peter hung to him as his life depended on it.

“You really weren’t playing with me that night?” Ned asked quietly.

“Why would I, Ned?” Peter said sniffing. “I- It’s serious, so serious.”

“Oh" was all Ned said.

-

The first time Ned kissed him they were standing in the middle of Ned’s living room, having just argued, screaming loudly at each other. Peter tasted like tears and Ned was so very careful with him, whispering apologies between feather light kisses. Peter finally put his hands on Ned’s neck and kissed him properly - like he had wanted to for over a year now. They kissed until their lips were too sore to keep going. They laughed together. “I'm sorry, Peter,” Ned said. “I was so afraid you had found out my feelings and were trying to turn it into some twisted joke.”

“I wasn’t. I swear. I had no idea you liked me back.” Peter paused. “You do, right?”

“Of course I do! How could anyone ever spend so much time with you and not fall in love?” Ned smiled lovingly at Peter.

“Right back at you, pal.”

I guess it wasn’t that bad telling Ned after all.


End file.
